To address concerns of parents and teenagers, President Clinton convened the first White House Conference on Teenagers: Raising Responsible and Resourceful Youth in May 2000. The conference, which brought together parents, teenagers, educators, youth workers, researchers, policymakers, and representatives from foundations, focused attention on ways that families and communities can teach youth sound values, promote healthy behavior, and support positive youth development.

In her syndicated column Talking It Over,² Hillary Rodham Clinton summarizes the conference's topics of discussion and announces several new initiatives and resources for youth and their families. These are described in greater detail below.

Hillary Rodham Clinton's weekly column, Talking It Over, has drawn on her experiences as First Lady and on her observations as an advocate for families. Ms. Clinton is the U.S. Senator-elect for New York.

Talking It Over
by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Despite declarations of independence and "KEEP OUT" signs hung on closed bedroom doors, America's teenagers need—and want—guidance and support from their parents.

This information comes from a new poll commissioned by the YMCA, and released this morning at the first-ever White House Conference on Teenagers. And the news may come as a surprise to many parents. After all, isn't this the age when our children would rather spend two hours talking on the phone to a friend than 10 minutes in a conversation with Mom or Dad?

Yet, according to the poll, more than three out of four teenagers say they still turn to their parents in times of trouble. In fact, while parents list the threat of drugs and alcohol as their chief worries, teenagers themselves list education and "not having enough time" with their parents as their top concerns.

Today's conference brought together parents, teens, policymakers and other experts to discuss the importance of the teenage years in the social and intellectual development of children. Like the 1997 White House Conference on Early Childhood Development and Learning, today's gathering underscored some of the common misconceptions that parents have, and offered strategies for raising responsible and resourceful children.

It has been my good fortune, over the last 30 years, to talk to thousands of teens in hundreds of settings. Despite negative messages too often sent by the media, America's teens are full of promise and potential. But ask them, and they will tell you that what should be the best years of their lives are too often filled with stress, alienation and confusion.

What teens need -- a theme returned to by each speaker today—is a connection. They need a relationship with an adult who cares about them. In the words of psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner, "Somebody's got to be crazy about that kid, and vice versa!"

Dr. Robert Blum, one of the country's leading experts on adolescent health, assured us that "families matter." His research shows that, when families are connected, sexual activity is delayed, and there is less tobacco and alcohol use, less emotional distress and less violence. "The key," he says, "is giving young people the consistent message that they matter."

But how do parents send that message? One way, espoused by many of today's speakers, is by having dinner—or lunch, or breakfast—together.

One of the biggest casualties of modern life is family time—that time when parents and children can check out of their busy schedules, and check in with each other. Before our daughter left for college, my husband and I made it a priority to share at least one meal with her every day. It wasn't always easy, but we made the effort, and that half-hour in the small kitchen of our private quarters was my favorite part of the day.

By making the time to be together, Bill and I sent our daughter a simple message—one that she carried with her when she went 3,000 miles away to college: Whenever she needs to talk, to ask advice, or just say hello, we will always be available and eager to listen.

One of the initiatives that I was proud to announce this morning is a new public awareness campaign designed to challenge parents to make more time for their teens, and encourage businesses to offer more flexible work schedules and policies for parents. The President, who announced that he will sign an Executive Order prohibiting discrimination against parents in the federal workforce, challenged all employers: "Don't put up glass ceilings for parents. A parent's job is tough enough."

Ben Casey of the Dallas YMCA described the role that community organizations can play. In Dallas, the Y has initiated a partnership with a dot-com grocery store, a dry cleaner and a pharmacy. When parents arrive to pick up their children at the Y, they can also pick up their groceries, their cleaning and their pharmacy items. In return for this free service, each family must agree to go home, turn off the TV, and have dinner together.

This is just the kind of support busy parents—and their children—need. Hundreds of programs like this are working all over the country, but getting the word out isn't always easy. For that reason, I was pleased to announce that a new White House task force will create a web site to link parents to successful programs just like this one.³ A companion site will offer age-appropriate resources for their children.

Laura Sessions Stepp, author of "Our Last Best Shot: Guiding Our Children Through Early Adolescence," summed up the three Rs that teens need to reach their full promise and potential: respect, responsibility and close relationships. It is time for all of us—not just parents—to do a better job of telling teens that we value them, we love them, we care about them, and we want to be involved in their lives.

Conference Initiatives and Resources

YMCA Poll

According to a poll released by the YMCA (Young Men's Christian Association) of the USA, Chicago, IL, and announced at the White House Conference on Teenagers, parents and teens suffer from a significant communication gap.⁴ Most parents polled (64 percent) believe that they talk to their children frequently about values and beliefs, but only 41 percent of teens surveyed state that this is done on a regular basis.

Similarly, most parents (62 percent) believe that their teens share their values, but only 46 percent of teens agree. Many teens report that their friends heavily influence their values and that it is their friends to whom they turn for advice. Thirty-seven percent of 15-year-olds state that their friends have the biggest influence on their values, and 67 percent of the same age group report that when they need help, they consult their friends for advice. Forty percent of teens who do turn to friends for guidance on values revealed that they do so because they feel that their parents are unable or unwilling to spend time with them.

The poll revealed that although parents may feel they discuss difficult issues such as sex, alcohol, and drugs with their children, the children do not necessarily believe this to be the case. For example, 43 percent of parents feel that they discuss sex frequently with their teenage children, while just 26 percent of teenagers feel that sex is a regular topic of discussion in their home.

The poll also found that parents and teens differ in what they regard as their primary concerns. Most parents fear dangers from outside the home, such as juvenile substance abuse (24 percent), while one of teens' biggest concerns is that they do not get to spend enough time with their parents (21 percent). Thirty-four percent of both parents and teenagers identify parental work obligations as the primary culprit in disrupting family time.

Work, however, is not the only problem. Thirty-six percent of parents and 29 percent of teens report that teens spend more time watching television or sitting in front of the computer than they do with their parents. When asked about how often they supervise their teenage children's online activities, parents' answers differ significantly from what their children report. Seventy-one percent of parents indicate that they monitor their children's use of the Internet, but 45 percent of teens state that they are online all or most of the time without parental supervision.

Parents and teens, however, do seem to spend some time together frequently. Parents report spending approximately 80 minutes per day talking with their teenage children and eating together an average of eight meals per week. Despite the communication problems previously noted, most teens (78 percent) report that they still turn to their parents for advice.

Time With Your Teens Campaign

In her address to the White House Conference on Teenagers, First Lady Hillary Clinton stated that "even if your teenager or your preteen doesn't want you following her or him around, in many ways they need you around." To heighten awareness of the importance of teens and parents spending time together, the National Partnership for Women and Families and the Families and Work Institute are developing the Time With Your Teens Campaign.

The campaign will highlight actions businesses and employers can take to enable parents to spend more time with their children. These include providing flexible work schedules, allowing job sharing, and revising leave policies. Among other campaign activities, the National Partnership for Women and Families will focus on how the proposed expansions to the Family and Medical Leave Act could help parents spend critical time with their teens. The campaign will emphasize the need for parental involvement in middle and high schools and challenge parents and teens to spend more time together. In addition, the U.S. Office of Personnel Management will raise awareness of the previously noted parental work benefits and will urge agencies to provide employees with information on teen development and related issues and encourage the establishment of parental support groups.

During the White House Conference on Teenagers, the First Lady announced the White House Task Force on Navigating the New Media Age. As a companion site to the Parenting Resources Web site launched by the Coordinating Council on Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, the task force has created a Web site for teenagers (www.americasteens.gov). This site links teenagers to college, community service, and internship and career opportunities and provides them with information on topics such as education, substance abuse, teen health, and safety.

Another Web site, the Parental Media Guide (www.parentalguide.org), educates parents on how to understand and monitor what their children are experiencing while surfing the Web, listening to music, or watching movies or television. In preparation for the White House Conference on Teenagers, the First Lady challenged the media and entertainment industries to develop the guide, which links users to the parental guidelines of the movie, software, radio, and television industries.

Notes

1. White House Conference on Teenagers: Raising Responsible and Resourceful Youth, Washington, DC, May 2, 2000.

2. Copyright © 2000 Creators Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

3. Parenting Resources for the 21st Century was launched in June 2000.

4. Global Strategy Group of New York, NY, and Washington, DC, conducted the poll for the YMCA, interviewing 200 children between ages 12 and 15 and 200 parents of children between ages 12 and 15. For further information about the poll, visit the YMCA's Web site, www.ymca.net.